My rants may be a bit more crude than others on the group. but my
entire feel for the fandom, the center of why I enjoy being furry,
revolves around the words "Piss Off"
Alone, a person is nobody but him/herself. Free to think how they
want, be who they want, believe what they want.
When this person comes in contact with another human being, both
individuals are instantly corrupted. It might not be much, but we change
how we talk, our interests, and even a little bit of out past, just so
we can communicate better. It's an entirely sub-conscious process. This
isn't that bad between 2 individuals, but still, they aren't being
themselves. Now place the same individual in a world where they come in
conversational contact with hundreds of people a week, modifying
themselves slightly for each one. Suddenly that person has modified
himself away from who he really was to fit in better to communicate with
all these people, and the people modify themselves equally to
communicate back. Society forms. The individual is not nearly as clear
cut as it was, and one person grays into another. Anything that doesn't
match the shade of society, is blended in. But if there is an oddball
idea or "color" that would completely change the color of society, it is
shunned. Not completely because the individual people don't like it, but
because it is spread through the corrupted minds of society as a whole,
causing the belief to be shunned, along with the believers.
The fandom for me is the want to become something non-human.
Something that lives on instincts, instead of lusts. A wolf, hunting
alone, in the quite outdoors of winter. Pure of mind, uncorrupted by the
thoughts of others. Only doing what it needs to survive, and doing it
simple, without all the bullpoo that humans must go through to survive.
In the process, I become singled out from society, for not joining
the gray, for thinking how I want to think, but I cannot deny, that even
with these goals and efforts, I still keep the human trait of
corruption. Nobody can say that they can talk to somebody else and be
completely themselves. We keep secrets about who the real "me" is, even
when talking to someone we know well. How many of us act the same alone,
as we do with our family, as we do with our friends, as we do at
work/school? None. You can say that you do, but try looking yourself in
the mirror and really saying it. Corruption cannot be fully prevented,
but it can be filtered.
The fandom keeps reminding me how I would like to become something
free of society, but I cannot actually do it. It sets an example, and
also helps push me out of the gray of society. Less corrupted, free to
think for myself more, because I don't have to worry about the gray as
much. When placed as an outsider to the rest of the world, you are only
strengthening yourself. Being yourself. When the gray tells you what you
do is wrong, and you should think their way, just give it the "piss
off". IT will always try to assimilate, but as long as you can truly
believe what you think is not wrong, you are better off. On the other
side, when you think that what you believe is right, you are causing
more of a danger to yourself, and also corrupting. No belief is truly
right. You believe that you should give a starving child your extra
food is right, but by giving that child your food, you are denying
thousands of others the food you gave to the child, giving that child an
extra boost above the others. If you take the food for yourself, that
isn't right either, but its not wrong. You worked hard for the food, you
earned it. you shouldn't have to give it away.
With the goal of losing your human nature, you lose giving up
intelligent choices, but trade them in for instinct, which as no right
or wrong, and I myself would make that trade any day. The fandom for me
is just the wish that I could become something of the wild, of nature,
without worrying about morals, or what others think, with the side
effect of filtering some of the corruption that happens indefinitely to
all humans, and the feeling of being with a community of people that
myself does not need to be modified nearly as much to communicate with.
-Dracorix
Leave me alone, isolation bears hope...
FDD[Dragon-Wolf]5ad A C- D H- M P R+ T++++ W- Z- !S RLCT/M/MC/S a-
cmn+++ d+ e- f-> h* iwf+++ j p+ sm--
Received on Mon Feb 18 2002 - 18:56:32 CST