--- In SkunkworksAMA_at_y..., "jmhcustomart" <jmhcustomart_at_y...> wrote:
> Hey all-
> Well, I reckon I oughta set it straight just in case there's any
> doubt about the current subject matter. I realize that there have
> been online scams like this before, but it's not a scam (though I
> wish like hell it was).
> Des was pretty hysterical when she wrote that. I think her
seeing
> me upset like that made it harder for her, because I generally do
not
> display any emotions outside of anger or happiness. I was so
fucking
> pissed, because I did this to myself. I didn't maintain myself
like
> I'm supposed to, and now it's caught up to me.
> I went to an eye doctor the other day and he looked at both
eyes.
> Here's basically what he said:
> The right eye has a little bleeding, but if I keep my blood sugar
> under control, it should heal back up. The left eye, however, has
> more bleeding, as well as some swelling and collateral blood
> vessels. The doctor said the blood vessels were sorta re-wiring
> themselves. It'd be like a road that gets blocked by an accident,
so
> the traffic finds another route to its destination. He said he
> didn't like that, but wouldn't expand on it more. I still don't
> quite grasp it, but then, I'm not a doctor. I'm hoping that the
> collateral blood vessel stuff does not mean something is wrong with
> my kidneys. That would seriously suck ass.
> I will be trying to apply for Medicaid, since my hours (at work)
> aren't what they need to be in order to qualify for insurance. The
> doctor said he faxed my file to another doctor at an eye surgery
> clinic, and that he would give me a call on Monday. He's trying to
> see if he can get me some kind of discount or payment plan or
> something.
> I've read all the posts since Des was online, and I'm really at a
> loss for words. I never knew I had this much support. You have no
> idea what your letters and support mean to me. Shit. I can't even
> think of any words to convey my sense of emotion. I would really
be
> lost without you folks.
> I think my situation is like a smack on the ass, basically
telling
> me I've got one more chance to get my shit together. Things like
> this don't usually happen all at once. They kinda let you know
> what's in store if action isn't taken to remedy the situation.
> But believe me, I'm still scared as hell. I would rather lose
both
> my legs than my eyes. I NEED to draw. It's one of the few things
> that I can do which allows me to delve into the lives of other
> characters, and draw them as I see them. I wouldn't hesitate to
give
> up anything I have, talent or material possession, just to keep
> drawing until I'm an old, feeble man.
> I don't know how other artist's perceive their craft or their
> subjects. When I created the Skunkworks characters in 1995, they
> were just supposed to be a one-time thing. But people wanted to
see
> more of them, and so did I (no pun intended). Over the years,
these
> characters have become very dear to me, and I'm not about to let
them
> go.
> Don't worry about me slipping into any kind of depression or
> anything; this particular fight demands willpower, and I got more
> than enough of that. There's no way in hell I'm going to lose all
of
> this. It's not even an option, man. I've had lots of difficult
> situations in my life, and I've always beaten them because I'm too
> damn stubborn to quit or give up. Ask any of my friends or family
> members, and they'll vouch for me on that.
> Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and support. I'm going to
> fight this like nothing I've ever fought before, because I'll be
> fighting for the one thing that makes me who I am.
> I will try to get online again in the next day or two. I'll have
> to get an eyepatch, though, because I really don't like having to
see
> that blood floating around in my field of vision. It's distracting
> and scary.
> Just to reiterate: I AM NOT DYING, so please don't totally freak
> out. I am in a big pile of shit, however, but I can see others
> coming over the horizon with lots of shovels.
> Thanks again for your support, folks. You all are the best, and
if
> it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be where I am today, artwise. And I
> don't mean to sound gay or anything (and no offense meant to those
> who are homosexual; you oughta know that by now!), but I love you
> people. You've helped my dream become a reality, and now I gotta
> make sure it stays that way.
>
> --James M. Hardiman
Get well soon,(Mother of all Cliches)
Blood vessels are very good at fixing themselves, you'll probably
just look like the terminater for a bit.
A Terra
Received on Sat Apr 20 2002 - 03:40:05 CDT