Hey.
I've been right-eye dominant my entire life, and my vision's better than
average in that eye as a result. I'm not sure if laser surgery can correct
my eye or not, but if it could, I wouldn't go for it. Having it corrected
would throw my depth perception off like MAD, and just generally screw me
up. You, however, are on the other side of the coin. Your vision HAS changed
on you noticeably (I was legally blind on my left eye. Now it's only 20/70,
whereas my right eye is 20/13). I more than believe in the power of the
stubborn ones. I myself am one. I'm almost to the point of convincing brick
walls that getting out of my way is a good idea. I hope you read my email
that was intended for Des. Just believe in it. You have the willpower to do
it, and more than enough reason to do so. With any luck I'll have a job here
soon, and one of the first things I'm going to do with my paycheck is order
something. I dunno what exactly, yet. But at the rate I'm going, I'll have
plenty of time to think about it.
Being poor sux brass balls.
SeaWolvn1
-------------------------------
Hey all-
Well, I reckon I oughta set it straight just in case there's any
doubt about the current subject matter. I realize that there have
been online scams like this before, but it's not a scam (though I
wish like hell it was).
Des was pretty hysterical when she wrote that. I think her seeing
me upset like that made it harder for her, because I generally do not
display any emotions outside of anger or happiness. I was so fucking
pissed, because I did this to myself. I didn't maintain myself like
I'm supposed to, and now it's caught up to me.
I went to an eye doctor the other day and he looked at both eyes.
Here's basically what he said:
The right eye has a little bleeding, but if I keep my blood sugar
under control, it should heal back up. The left eye, however, has
more bleeding, as well as some swelling and collateral blood
vessels. The doctor said the blood vessels were sorta re-wiring
themselves. It'd be like a road that gets blocked by an accident, so
the traffic finds another route to its destination. He said he
didn't like that, but wouldn't expand on it more. I still don't
quite grasp it, but then, I'm not a doctor. I'm hoping that the
collateral blood vessel stuff does not mean something is wrong with
my kidneys. That would seriously suck ass.
I will be trying to apply for Medicaid, since my hours (at work)
aren't what they need to be in order to qualify for insurance. The
doctor said he faxed my file to another doctor at an eye surgery
clinic, and that he would give me a call on Monday. He's trying to
see if he can get me some kind of discount or payment plan or
something.
I've read all the posts since Des was online, and I'm really at a
loss for words. I never knew I had this much support. You have no
idea what your letters and support mean to me. Shit. I can't even
think of any words to convey my sense of emotion. I would really be
lost without you folks.
I think my situation is like a smack on the ass, basically telling
me I've got one more chance to get my shit together. Things like
this don't usually happen all at once. They kinda let you know
what's in store if action isn't taken to remedy the situation.
But believe me, I'm still scared as hell. I would rather lose both
my legs than my eyes. I NEED to draw. It's one of the few things
that I can do which allows me to delve into the lives of other
characters, and draw them as I see them. I wouldn't hesitate to give
up anything I have, talent or material possession, just to keep
drawing until I'm an old, feeble man.
I don't know how other artist's perceive their craft or their
subjects. When I created the Skunkworks characters in 1995, they
were just supposed to be a one-time thing. But people wanted to see
more of them, and so did I (no pun intended). Over the years, these
characters have become very dear to me, and I'm not about to let them
go.
Don't worry about me slipping into any kind of depression or
anything; this particular fight demands willpower, and I got more
than enough of that. There's no way in hell I'm going to lose all of
this. It's not even an option, man. I've had lots of difficult
situations in my life, and I've always beaten them because I'm too
damn stubborn to quit or give up. Ask any of my friends or family
members, and they'll vouch for me on that.
Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and support. I'm going to
fight this like nothing I've ever fought before, because I'll be
fighting for the one thing that makes me who I am.
I will try to get online again in the next day or two. I'll have
to get an eyepatch, though, because I really don't like having to see
that blood floating around in my field of vision. It's distracting
and scary.
Just to reiterate: I AM NOT DYING, so please don't totally freak
out. I am in a big pile of shit, however, but I can see others
coming over the horizon with lots of shovels.
Thanks again for your support, folks. You all are the best, and if
it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be where I am today, artwise. And I
don't mean to sound gay or anything (and no offense meant to those
who are homosexual; you oughta know that by now!), but I love you
people. You've helped my dream become a reality, and now I gotta
make sure it stays that way.
--James M. Hardiman
Received on Mon Apr 22 2002 - 01:16:31 CDT