Many thanks Dreamer, but those are for the ppl around you that may not know them, but should, so THEY know as well why your acting so flaky (like me!)
Lab Rat 265
Count your life by smiles, not tears;
Count your age by friends, not years.
>________________________________
> From: Dusk Dreamer <Duskdreamer_at_hotmail.com>
>To: SkunkworksAMA_at_yahoogroups.com
>Sent: Monday, September 23, 2013 11:17 PM
>Subject: RE: [SkunkworksAMA] Loss of our newest
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>After the lost of my roommate of 21 years to cancer, I know all the the stages well
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>it helps to know what you are going through it does not lessen anything your pain is your own and you deal with it the way you can
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>take care and bless
>Dreamer
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>The sorrow of dreams is that one must awake...
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>A Miracle's a miracle / Even when it's ordinary, Cloud Cult - Story of Grandson Jesus
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>________________________________
>From: knot_disclosed_at_yahoo.com
>To: SkunkworksAMA_at_yahoogroups.com
>Date: Mon, 23 Sep 2013 12:34:24 -0700
>Subject: Re: [SkunkworksAMA] Loss of our newest
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>Five Stages of Mourning
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>The stages of mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual's own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief.
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>In our bereavement, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage more or less intensely. The five stages do not necessarily occur in order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Many of us are not afforded the luxury of time required to achieve this final stage of grief. The death of your loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges. As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.
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>1. Denial and Isolation: The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished Loved one is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.
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>2. Anger: As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased Loved one. Rationally, we know that the Loved One
is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent it for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us angrier. The DOctor or veterinarian who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease, or who performed euthanasia of the Loved one, might become a convenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them. Do not hesitate to ask your doctor or veterinarian to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your Loved ones illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Discuss the cost of treatment. Discuss burial arrangements. Understand the options available to you. Take your time. Both you and your doctor or veterinarian will find
that honest and open communications now are an invaluable long-term investment.
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>3. Bargaining: The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control. If only we had sought medical attention sooner. If we got a second opinion from another doctor. If we changed our Loved Ones diet, maybe they will get well. Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.
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>4. Depression: Two types of depression are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate. We worry about the cost of treatment and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a
bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our Loved one farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.
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>5. Acceptance: Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.
>Loved ones that are terminally ill or aging may appear to go through a final period of withdrawal. This is by no means a suggestion that they are aware of their own mortality, only that physical decline may be sufficient to produce a similar response. Their behavior implies that it
is natural to reach a stage at which social interaction is limited. The dignity and grace shown by our dying friends may well be their last gift to us.
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Received on Fri Sep 27 2013 - 18:15:29 CDT