At 12:14 PM 8/29/2002 +0000, motobritt wrote:
>I suppose we just have to watch out for the unscrupulous Japanese
>scientist planning to create a living cucumber. Although the
>existance of living vegetables has been confirmed by anyone visiting
>McDonalds, or even worse, Little Chef.
Living cucumber? I suppose you mean AMBULATORY cucumber... After all,
cucumbers already are alive. They're plants, after all. In fact, while
the meat you find at the grocery store has been dead for a long time,
almost everything you find in the produce section is still alive, and will
remain that way for another week oftentimes. Not to mention the SEEDS,
which actually have full embryos in them. :)
Actually, there WAS a documented case of a woman using a cucumber who broke
it accidently. She pulled out the huge chunk, and left one seed, which
decided she was a good place to try to grow in. Didn't cause any major
problems, just caused a heck of a surprise, and an unhappy baby cucumber plant.
I guess I should add to the list also... I have NO idea what number we were
at. :\
- You can't show off pictures of yourself and your cucumber from those
little photo booths to show how cute you two are together.
- Yeah, you could take a cucumber to the movie and actually see the show,
but you can't talk about the movie with the cucumber afterwards.
- It's really not good form to call out your cucumber's name in the heat of
passion.
- Men: Hard on the inside, and a nice soft outer surface. 'Toy' makers
have worked hard to reproduce this effect. Cucumbers: Squishy and juicy on
the inside, hard on the outside...
- ...And cucumbers can BREAK.
- Cucumbers will never fetch you an extra roll of toilet paper from the
closet while you're stuck.
- A romantic movie scene with a cucumber?... *ewwwww* "Oh, darling, I love
you so much!" *silence* "I can't profess how undying my love for you is!"
*silence* "Let's elope!" *silence* "But before we do, let's make mad hot
passionate love!" *At this point, the whole audience is gone.*
- Cucumbers... Started out as a very long-vined plant...
- That grew a flower (Which of course has both sexes)...
- That was pollinated by a bug...
- And eventually grew into the plant's green reproduction sac,
full of baby cucumber embryos...
- ... So do you REALLY think you could explain that your
'boyfriend' is really the egg sac of a hermaphrodite, tentacled,
non-sentient life form that couldn't get laid by anything but a bug?
Wait... Don't answer that. :P
Received on Thu Aug 29 2002 - 12:43:11 CDT