> I'll add my compliments to those of the previous poster. :) Not
bad, not
> bad at all. A couple of minor comments, though?
>
> (1) I noticed a couple of places where you abruptly switched
between past
> and present tenses between one sentence and the next, i.e.:
>
> >"I think your grip is getting tighter," he murmured through his
teeth
> >from the pain. He can now feel that her claws have penetrated his
skin.
> >He kept pulling her arms away until her claws were finally free.
>
> As a general rule, switching tenses like this is bad form and
should be
> avoided.
>
Yeah, I've yet to improve on my writing skills. Can't learn
everything at once... or at least my professors won't teach anything
more. lol
> (2) I don't know if you spellchecked this or not, but... don't
depend on
> spellcheck to catch all your typos. :) There's a number of places
where
> you either mistyped a word, or typed the wrong one, and still ended
up with
> a word that would pass spellcheck, but which makes no sense in the
> sentence. (If your word processor has a grammar checker, it can
sometimes
> catch errors like this.)
>
Thanks for pointing that out. I usually skim over the story once
before submitting it, after which I had used spellcheck (I know it's
not very reliable... thanks Bill Gates lol). Guess I skipped over a
bit more than I thought. I'll be sure to check more than once.
Received on Wed Feb 18 2009 - 20:01:21 CST