Very nice visual on the Caterwaul comic page.
Panel One has a nice high angle shot. Could
be used as an establishing shot for the story.
The building angle is nice. Gives the fans
an idea of what James' commercial work
is probably like. Looks like a computer used
to outline the building. If not, then a lot of
hand-work went into the construction of it.
(A lot of nibs were wiped out.)
I love the way "Kelly's" is reflected in the
wet street. Same on the shamrock logo
above the name of the bar. (I'm assuming
a bar.)
Of the three robed characters I see two are
booted and one is bare pawed. It looks like
the bare pawed character has only three toes,
not four - (PANEL FOUR).
Observations - There might be two
problems with the page that may need
attention. One is a possible "landmine" in
plot setup in narration; the other visual.
Plot problem - Narration Continuity:
PANEL THREE:
The top narration is stating that an elderly
couple was attacked - the husband killed, with the
wife recovering in the hospital.
However, in the bottom narration, you have
both husband and wife killed.
The key linkage for the two narrations is the word
THAT in the bottom narration, ie:
...THAT COUPLE WAS FRIENDS OF...
The word THAT hooks the "husband/wife" in
top narration to the German couple in bottom narration.
The time period of, ONE WEEK, also links the narrations
together when maybe that wasn't the intention.
PANEL FOUR:
Narration continues with German "couple" killed.
[It may also be I don't know enough of the plot
outline...]
***********************************
Visual problems, (actually, more nitpicking
than anything):
PANEL ONE:
KELLY'S building front: Front door closed. Light shining
on sidewalk facing front door is a tad too bright compared
to light reflected on sidewalk from side windows. It stands
out, with no light source visible. (There does seem to be
a door window reflected, but amount of light would be the
same as from the side windows, (maybe less) - and door
window wouldn't cast that sharply define lit edges on
the sidewalk. Although, the light edge angle might
suggest this. [That door window is really high up
on the door - if it's there. Maybe - overhead light
above door?]
Door knob: Side door on building, RS, shows a
door knob - nice. Front door missing one. It
could be argued door knob on right side hidden
by angle, but unconsciously, viewers look for small
details in background. Maybe add a door handle
or knob to left side. (Door looks incomplete.)
******************************
I'm mostly nitpicking. Over-all, the page looks great.
And the proper word is Boatload-Of-Ink. And the
ink company is gonna love you. You just might
get a xmas card from them - (B&W, of course). :D
Received on Wed Dec 16 2009 - 00:54:15 CST